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previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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Oh, you guys, I think I found it.

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My great grammy keeps getting into fights with her neighbor.

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Sick and tired of your lewd garden gnomes just creeping into my garden.

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Uh, excuse me, ma'am?

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What?

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There were just, you know, loving gifts from Grandpa Hotpants, and then they just started going missing one night.

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Okay, is Grandpa Hotpants around here?

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I bought them off a man who said he was from the fae.

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Okay.

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That makes sense.

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They're moving towards the well, and they're climbing up, and all of them are falling in following the pheromones, and you hear, at first you hear, like, shatters down at the bottom.

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Wasn't there water in the well?

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Is there water in that well?

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No.

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It's just really digging through this duffel bag, looking for, yeah, some sort of...

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Some sort of, like, mass napalm?

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Some sort of large plug?

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Large plug?

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Yeah.

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Big plug.

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The well, you probably want your reward, don't you?

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Oh, that'd be great.

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Yeah, I think we've really earned our reward this time.

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Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.

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I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.

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He, him.

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Also with me today is Tom Laird.

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Hey, that's me, he, him, and I'm playing Moot tonight, and he also goes by he, him.

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And Amy More.

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Yes, she, her, and I will be playing Sullivan Sleight, he, him.

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Also with us today is Karla Maxted.

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She, her, I am playing Glim.

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Dragonborn PAlydin.

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I said it, because you guys didn't.

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Well, now we have to go back and include the...

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I know.

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No, we didn't do it.

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Tom was setting the precedent.

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I thought that was how we rolled here.

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You did do it, Tom.

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I didn't do it.

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No, Tom didn't do it.

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I just said I'm playing Moot.

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Oh.

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Yeah, and that's why I didn't do it.

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I just said I was playing Sullivan Sleight.

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Karla's mixing it up over here.

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Way to go, Karla.

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Oh.

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Way to do the intros, right?

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There's a wrong way to do the intros.

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I hope not.

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Every time.

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We have a 0% success rate.

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That's right.

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We've been doing this for over 200 episodes, and we haven't done it the same way anytime, which is okay.

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Because you know where we do things always differently, too, is over on Patreon.

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And we have a lot of fun doing it because we have an entire other podcast where Tom does these intros much better than the way I run.

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So good.

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I don't know.

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They're smooth.

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There are fun facts for Russ's character in the last few episodes that have started cropping up.

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So those are fun.

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I'm trying to make fun fact a thing.

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Well, then there was one that was like super sad.

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Yeah, that was me.

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I was trying to ruin fun fact.

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No, I think both of Opal's last ones were both sad, fun facts.

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Like they started really positive and then it devolved into terrible life.

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Fun fact, Opal has daddy issues.

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Yep.

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So we're really selling it.

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So if you want to hear these episodes and these sad, fun facts.

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The promo I was hoping for.

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Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, where if you're a patron, you get an episode dedicated to you.

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Like today's patron.

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I'm wrestling the best faces.

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Like today's patron, Isaiah Yarbrough.

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Thanks, Isaiah.

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Thanks, Isaiah.

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Really appreciate you being here.

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I totally had your name picked long before.

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It definitely wasn't out of the blue, Carla prompted.

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I'm prepared and we appreciate you being here.

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So join us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

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And you too could be like Isaiah.

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And get all those sweet, sweet, sad, fun facts.

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And now fuck it.

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Let's play.

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We meet Mooklem and Sully in the waiting room of the Queen of Tether.

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They were put here by Queen Callichrist's receptionist and told to wait just a moment as they will be seen.

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And are currently discussing whether to tell Callichrist that Jonathan is not here or ignore it.

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So I think that we should probably say that he found some people that he's like really into.

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And he's ready to forge out on his own adventuring.

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And that we encouraged him to come and that we thought it was a good idea.

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But he was like, no.

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And then probably say a lot of stuff about like my family doesn't respect me.

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My family disrespects my need to be the shadow.

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You know, things like that.

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Sure, sure.

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What what about also though?

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What if we just because they're not in communication with one another, right?

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Like the the rulers there.

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That's the whole reason that we've come out here is they're not really on speaking terms.

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So like we were early with Jonathan.

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So what if we just pretend like he wasn't with us?

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OK, I feel like we need to split the difference.

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So I don't want to lie about it.

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OK, yeah.

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But so we could just not bring it up.

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Oh, right.

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And that's OK.

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But if she asks.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I think, Sully, what you said makes none of that was untrue.

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That's true.

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OK.

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He's off having his own adventure with his new friends.

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And honestly, shouldn't his older siblings be happy that he's expanding his horizons

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and not just counting on them for everything?

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That's true.

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Yeah, I think so.

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But like what do we know?

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Oh, don't say that.

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Oh, boy.

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Oh, boy.

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Yeah, don't don't.

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I as soon as I said it.

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What do we do?

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We say that he's with the necromancer is his new friend.

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OK, well, what do we say?

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We need to know who these friends are.

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Well, I don't know that we do.

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He's a grown ass man.

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It's true.

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OK.

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Yeah.

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I mean, if if Calacriss really is like digging, we can share more details.

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But honestly, we've seen how they treated poor Jonathan.

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I don't think he'll even come up.

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I don't think she'll even ask, honestly, because he's not even supposed to be here yet.

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OK.

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Yeah.

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So I think, you know, honest when we have to be.

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And then maybe just silent is also an option.

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I think.

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Oh, yeah.

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Strength in silence.

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Yes, exactly.

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I have experienced it myself, but I don't know.

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Yeah.

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That I haven't seen that.

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But when you just stand quietly, do you feel like other people give you more respect

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because of that?

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Well, a lot of times they're waiting for for what you're going to say.

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So, yeah, I think so.

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I think I think there is something to that.

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Maybe another time then.

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OK.

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So how long have we been waiting here anyway?

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I mean, long enough that this bowl of mixed nuts is gone.

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I'll tell you that much.

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You ate that whole bowl?

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Well, I mean, you can't just put a bowl of mixed nuts in front of me and not

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expect me to eat the whole thing.

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Yeah, but have you have you read all all the research on how how just unsanitary

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all those nuts are and just how many how many different types of of of poo

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particles exist in those nuts?

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So many, you know, I have I have read the research, but you saw when we got

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seated in the waiting room, like she came out with the container and like

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emptied them into the bowl.

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So I think that it's about as good as it can be.

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I know, but you got to think everybody's got to save a dime.

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If you were to only have a handful of those nuts, she'd be putting those

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right back in that container.

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So you have no idea how many times it's come and gone and come and gone.

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OK.

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I didn't see her like break the seal on the container or anything.

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So that's a good point.

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It's a good point.

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I take some probiotics.

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The door behind you swings open and in walks the receptionist who

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introduced themselves as Sandra.

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And she has in her hands the canister of mixed nuts and looks in the

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bowl and says, oh, oh, you finished them.

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All right.

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The Queen will see you now.

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Thank you so much.

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Thank you.

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She ushers you to the door that she just walked through.

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You walk through it and there's a long hallway that is lined with very

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ornate stained glass windows all the way down and a single open,

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large, like processional door down at the end of this red carpet that

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you're basically walking down.

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And what are we seeing in those stained glass?

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Is it all just totally megalomaniacal?

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Queen Calichrist, slaying dragons and feeding the poor,

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purchasing new containers of mixed nuts.

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You know what?

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Yes.

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Largely that.

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Like it starts off more modest, I guess you could say for stained

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glass windows of like landscapes and just the surrounding city and

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territories.

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But yes, it evolves as you're walking down into different tableaus

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of a king first, who you could probably, with the knowledge that you

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have from Finbar, you could presume is the king, Lone and Borwyn,

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evolving into a transition of power.

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And yes, you see like this queen figure being crowned and then

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slaying dragons and feeding the poor.

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Suckling another, like a hungry baby.

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To her own bosom.

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Yes, absolutely.

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I mean, I guess nice, but also weird.

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Well, it takes a village.

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Weird to memorialize in stained glass.

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To each their own.

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Actually, a lot of them are topless.

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Yeah, and there's a few guards kind of just loitering probably in that

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hallway, just really taking in the beauty of those.

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Sure.

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Well, you want to remember your queen for what they're known for,

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right?

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100%.

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So yeah, you do pass a couple of the city guard as you walk by.

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Just doing their research is what they're doing.

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You make it down to the end of the hall and through this main door and

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into, based on what you've seen previously, a rather modest throne room.

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This red carpet still goes all the way up to, up a few steps at the

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other side of this room to a very simple throne.

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There are seats all along as well, but you don't see the same ornate

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stained glass that you saw in this hallway.

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Just clear-paned windows where there are.

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Just rather simple drapes.

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And a door opens at the far end and in walks a woman with red short

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hair that hangs down over her fresh and charming face.

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She has dancing blue eyes that quickly jump back and forth between

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you as she has a seat.

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And you see that she has a birthmark reaching from her right side of her

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forehead running down to the right side of her lips, ending on her

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right cheekbone.

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She's a tall, full-figured woman and incredibly well-dressed.

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Compared to her brother, Finbar, that is.

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She carries herself as you would imagine a very regal royal does.

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And she leans forward in her chair as you approach.

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And with a little smile says, Moot, Glim, and Sully, what brings you to

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our fair city of Deremar?

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Sully goes into a deep bow.

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Oh, please.

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Please.

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Not necessary.

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Not necessary.

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Well, it's not often that I actually get to do it and want to do it.

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It is, wow.

257
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:23,000
It is really great to meet you.

258
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,000
Your magistrate.

259
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000
It's a pleasure to meet you as well.

260
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:32,000
Glim also bows, despite being told that it's unnecessary.

261
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000
Seems like the right thing to do.

262
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:38,000
Moot goes for like the hand over the heart and like the nod.

263
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:46,000
Well, we are here to help to reunite the kingdoms.

264
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000
How so?

265
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:54,000
Through the power of communication.

266
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000
Okay.

267
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:59,000
So, Sandra said that you mentioned that you had come from Chondeth.

268
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,000
So I guess you were sent by Finbar, perhaps?

269
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:07,000
Well, I wouldn't say sent by Finbar.

270
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000
It's just we were chatting with Finbar.

271
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:15,000
And what sort of came up is that each of the three kingdoms has a lot of

272
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,000
some things and not very much of other things.

273
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,000
And that those things are complementary.

274
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:24,000
So it just seems like it would make sense.

275
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000
Plus, you're all siblings.

276
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,000
Share the deep bonds of family love.

277
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,000
Of course.

278
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000
Open that trade.

279
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000
Open that trade.

280
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000
Exactly. Open the trade.

281
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000
The peasants.

282
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,000
To be beneficial for everyone.

283
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,000
For everyone in all three kingdoms.

284
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:45,000
Now, I love all of this, everything you're saying.

285
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:51,000
What did Finbar exactly say was the rift between us?

286
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:56,000
You know, he didn't really go into it too deeply, to be perfectly honest with you.

287
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,000
Was it the sword?

288
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,000
I mean, he talked about the sword.

289
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:06,000
Yeah, but then he did sort of say that, yeah, that that was sort of the

290
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:12,000
official story, but maybe not what actually mattered.

291
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:18,000
Because there were some holes in that story that was sent out to the islands.

292
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:24,000
It didn't quite make sense, but I guess we didn't really just get the...

293
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,000
What's your version of events?

294
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:35,000
It was a contributing factor in driving Finbar and Bretton and myself apart.

295
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:44,000
Now, the fact that they're still holding on to it so many years later,

296
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:52,000
without actually going out to try and find it, if that's what they so desire.

297
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,000
I mean, as you walk through the city, did you not?

298
00:14:55,000 --> 00:15:03,000
You saw that we are a thriving metropolis, so to speak.

299
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:09,000
And you think back to your travels through the streets and you saw vendors,

300
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:14,000
like full carts of food, full carts of textiles, full spices, weaponry,

301
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000
all that sort of stuff.

302
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:28,000
My brothers both believe that they can only trade with these three territories.

303
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:33,000
We are an ocean-bordering province.

304
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,000
So if I can just fill in a bit of the blanks here,

305
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:43,000
what you're saying is that they're dumb.

306
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000
I mean, I don't want to speak ill of your brothers,

307
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:50,000
but that certainly seems to be the kind of gist you're going for here.

308
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:56,000
Yeah, I mean, after we had our differences, I guess I should speak,

309
00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:02,000
because I felt heated in the moment because there were times when their drive

310
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:09,000
to find father's sword was so much that they just kept pushing

311
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,000
and they kept hurting themselves and sending more people out there

312
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,000
to try and find this thing.

313
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:18,000
When I just told them that we could just establish our own lands,

314
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:24,000
they could be united or joined, however they are,

315
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:34,000
but they wanted to rule singularly the three under one name like father did

316
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:39,000
and kind of had that notion.

317
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:43,000
Now, I mean, Breton is the only landlocked territory,

318
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:47,000
so trade is a little more difficult.

319
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,000
If he were willing to open his borders,

320
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,000
we would gladly trade with him and allow him allow him passage.

321
00:16:54,000 --> 00:17:03,000
But Finbar sent you here to the least problematic part in this entire,

322
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,000
entire story.

323
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:09,000
I really feel like I wish that we had a talk to you first.

324
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,000
Yeah, it seems like we maybe would have got a bit of a better picture.

325
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:16,000
You're clearly looking at the whole the whole picture where they're

326
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,000
very focused on one thing.

327
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,000
I did have one quick question for you.

328
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000
We noticed all the stained glass work back there.

329
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,000
Oh, yes.

330
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Do you just have someone on retainer for that or?

331
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000
Well, it's a tradition that my father started.

332
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:39,000
This was kind of his home base, so to speak.

333
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:43,000
So as you see, it started and I don't know if you recognized him,

334
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:47,000
but the earlier images are of him establishing the territories and

335
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:52,000
bringing the lands together in however he decided to do it.

336
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,000
And then the transition of power,

337
00:17:54,000 --> 00:18:01,000
I maintain it only as a memory of him.

338
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:06,000
We do have very skilled trades people here,

339
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:12,000
as you can see, who we pay handsomely for their work.

340
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,000
Oh, they did a knockup job, a knockout job.

341
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,000
They did a great job.

342
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Well, thank you.

343
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,000
I'll be sure to pass along your praise, Sully.

344
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Can I ask, when your father was alive,

345
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:32,000
he did trade with other nations or just within his own?

346
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:36,000
Like, I'm not sure where it fell apart because it seems like,

347
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:43,000
you know, you're a port, goods and people coming from all over the world.

348
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,000
We did establish trade under him.

349
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:51,000
I mean, primarily because we had all of the resources available within our territory.

350
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
There wasn't a large need.

351
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,000
He was more militarily driven.

352
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,000
So expansion was part of his rule.

353
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:04,000
We haven't done as much, hardly any at all, really.

354
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:09,000
More defensive borders of my brothers,

355
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:18,000
which fortunately, I mean, we have a sizable military of 5,000 here just to hold them at bay.

356
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:23,000
But we have a port, Finbar even has a port,

357
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:34,000
but is so narrow minded and has such tunnel vision that he wants what he can't have.

358
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:44,000
And brought it back to your point that they're just not smart.

359
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:48,000
Well, that's a little disappointing.

360
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:52,000
I thought we were here to bring family back together.

361
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:58,000
And it just kind of seems like you should probably just continue doing your thing.

362
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:02,000
And I don't know.

363
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:12,000
It's hard to talk about the power of diplomacy when your country's doing very well.

364
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000
And you seem very diplomatic.

365
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,000
You seem very diplomatic.

366
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:20,000
You seem like you would be willing to work with your brothers.

367
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:28,000
So, yeah, I think, gosh, it just would have been better if we had met you first.

368
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Finbar sort of gave us a bit of a different impression about relations between the relations.

369
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,000
Of course, of course.

370
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:45,000
Well, I mean, I feel terrible that you've traveled all this way

371
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:51,000
and found that the problem does not lie on this side of the border.

372
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,000
What you're doing is noble.

373
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:58,000
And I appreciate absolutely everything.

374
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:05,000
If you wish to continue your quest, your journey to go visit Breton,

375
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:10,000
I would gladly send a military escort to help you past his borders.

376
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:17,000
I would warn that he is not, he's not as even.

377
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000
What am I trying to say?

378
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,000
He's not smarter than Finbar.

379
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:30,000
So take what you've met with Finbar and put that into a child.

380
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Oh, no.

381
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:37,000
Not like a physical child, but the mind of a three-year-old.

382
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:42,000
I believe if I can quote him, and I don't think he'll mind me doing this,

383
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,000
but he said, it's mine, mine, mine.

384
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,000
It's all mine.

385
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,000
Dad gave it to me.

386
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,000
Give it back.

387
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Oh.

388
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
OK.

389
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
Yeah, I see what you're saying.

390
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,000
OK.

391
00:21:55,000 --> 00:22:05,000
So, your Magistration, may I have just a moment with my patriots here for a second?

392
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,000
You guys, come here.

393
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000
She leaves the room.

394
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:13,000
Sandra follows her and says, I'll be back in a moment.

395
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:20,000
So, we had, you know, she says it's all like noble and stuff for doing this,

396
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:24,000
and that's great, but I'm remembering the only reason we're actually doing this

397
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:28,000
was quick talking to get out of being killed by Finbar.

398
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:32,000
Now, we are out of that situation.

399
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,000
Yes, very much so.

400
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:42,000
Do we want to now go into a child version of Finbar in order to try to complete this,

401
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:47,000
or are we OK quitting because it's kind of something that I'm really good at?

402
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:52,000
So, we could probably just, like, call it here.

403
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,000
Like, I don't know.

404
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,000
Is this part of saving the world, Glim, is this part of the big plan?

405
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,000
I got to say it doesn't feel like it is, does it?

406
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,000
No.

407
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,000
Seems like a squabble.

408
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,000
No, it doesn't.

409
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,000
It doesn't at all.

410
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,000
I thought a noble mission of diplomacy, bringing a family back together, that seemed like-

411
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,000
Reuniting three territories.

412
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:18,000
Yes, that seemed like important work, but Queen, who seems dope and-

413
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Like, really has everything figured out.

414
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:26,000
Really has everything sort of figured out, taking care of her people, expanding trade,

415
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,000
and then a couple of real dum-dums.

416
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:34,000
Yeah, the dum-dums is where I'm thinking we're going to run into problems if we continue down this road.

417
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,000
Because if she's willing, if she's willing to be like, yeah, sure, let's do this thing,

418
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:42,000
but they're both like, no, I want it all, and things, and also being like this,

419
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,000
then it just kind of seems like nothing's going to happen.

420
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,000
How do you, how do you reason with, with someone who just-

421
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,000
Dum-dums.

422
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,000
Yes, who just screams, no, I want it the way I want it.

423
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,000
How do you fight with that?

424
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,000
I don't know.

425
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,000
You can't.

426
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:01,000
How do we fight with that, Sully, how do we fight with that?

427
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,000
Why, I don't know, Moot, how do you fight with that?

428
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,000
I feel-

429
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,000
Oh, just thinking about-

430
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,000
Yeah, I feel like you're trying to say something, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

431
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:21,000
Okay, so maybe we, we thank her kindly, and we just kind of like, leave.

432
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,000
Where are we going, Glim?

433
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,000
Well, what will she think of us if we just leave?

434
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:30,000
I don't know, we actually, we don't live here, so we could just be like-

435
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,000
You seem to have things well in hand.

436
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,000
Farewell, Your Majesty.

437
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,000
Good day, madam.

438
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,000
Something like that.

439
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000
Yeah.

440
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000
Yeah, okay.

441
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000
Because it's the truth, also.

442
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,000
But where to next, then?

443
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:46,000
You hear from down the hall, not from the door, of which the Queen went in,

444
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:52,000
but quick-paced, heavy, like, plate-mailed footsteps coming down the hall,

445
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:57,000
and you turn and you look and you see a, one of the town guard carrying a scroll

446
00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:01,000
making his way towards the throne room.

447
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:05,000
Gosh, it looks really uncomfortable to run in that thing.

448
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,000
Is it hot in there?

449
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,000
It's a little hot, it's a warm day.

450
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Is the Queen here?

451
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,000
Oh, yeah.

452
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,000
She said she'd be back in a minute.

453
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:20,000
Oh, okay, I will, excuse me, I'll just, I'll just stand back and wait my turn.

454
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,000
Does he turn and look at the stained glass?

455
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:30,000
No, he takes a few steps back, just kind of in line from you, and says, starts whistling.

456
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000
What's your name?

457
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Oh, Terry.

458
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000
Is it short for, like, Terrance?

459
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,000
Yes, yes, it is short for Terrance.

460
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:42,000
Friends call me Terry, though, and you seem like nice people, so we can be friends.

461
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,000
Oh, wow.

462
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
Thanks, Terry, that sounds very nice.

463
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000
You've been a city guard long, or?

464
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:52,000
Well, yes, yeah, about 12, 13.

465
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000
Oh.

466
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Yeah, 13 years.

467
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,000
Oh, you like it.

468
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,000
Do you like it?

469
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,000
Is it, is Queen Calacriss good to work for?

470
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Absolutely.

471
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:07,000
Yeah, I mean, she's only been in power for, you know, half of that, half of that, I think.

472
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:12,000
Before that, it was, of course, it was, of course, Lonen, King Lonen.

473
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000
How is it like working for Lonen?

474
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000
Lonen was fair.

475
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:24,000
He, a little bit more of a heavy hand in terms of corporal punishment.

476
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,000
Oh.

477
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,000
Oh, okay.

478
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:30,000
Calacriss, not quite as much, Queen Calacriss, not quite as much.

479
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:35,000
You know, still upholds the law, but in a fair and just way.

480
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,000
And we all greatly appreciate her rule.

481
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,000
Wow, well, that sounds fantastic.

482
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,000
Good benefits?

483
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:50,000
I mean, I mean, she, she takes care of her, of her guard and those, you know, basically everybody in the city who, who she can.

484
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,000
What do you mean by benefits?

485
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,000
Oh, nothing.

486
00:26:54,000 --> 00:27:01,000
So, like, do you have just the one suit of armor or do you have multiple suits?

487
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,000
And do you have to clean your own suit?

488
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000
Yes.

489
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:09,000
Well, it's, it's, of course, customary to clean your own suit at the end of the night.

490
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,000
But yes, we, I only have the one.

491
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,000
It's quite expensive.

492
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,000
I only have the one plate mail.

493
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,000
Oh, did you have to buy your own?

494
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,000
No, it was provided, but.

495
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000
Oh, but like if you lose it, you have to replace it, that sort of thing?

496
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Exactly.

497
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,000
Okay.

498
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:23,000
Yeah.

499
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000
Yeah.

500
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:29,000
It's, you know, you have to give it back if you, if you are, if you retire or are, are demoted in any way, shape, or form.

501
00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,000
But yes.

502
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:35,000
And if you do something really cool, is that when they put it up as like a statue in the hall?

503
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Oh, that's if you, if you die in battle, saving the town or part of the territory.

504
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,000
Oh, wow.

505
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,000
Yeah.

506
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:48,000
So more of a commemoration than just something really cool.

507
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:53,000
I mean, it is usually tied to something really cool or noble or, or victorious.

508
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,000
Well, it's not that victorious, though.

509
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000
It depends how you look at it.

510
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,000
Fair enough, yeah.

511
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Do the very best warriors get their suits of armor lifted up and displayed in the rafters of this great throne room?

512
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,000
Yes.

513
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,000
Yes.

514
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:09,000
Yeah.

515
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,000
As you can see, there are, there are a few up there.

516
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,000
Yeah.

517
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:13,000
And I mean, those, those ones are completely retired.

518
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,000
I didn't look at all.

519
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,000
I thought those were like airplanes up there.

520
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:22,000
Yeah, you can't use that, that style of armor anymore after this.

521
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,000
Oh, okay.

522
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,000
Yeah.

523
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,000
What was it?

524
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,000
What's in the note?

525
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,000
You came in here pretty.

526
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,000
Oh, sorry.

527
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,000
It's for the Queen.

528
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:33,000
Oh, that's super personal.

529
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,000
So rude.

530
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000
I mean, it just seemed like maybe it was very important.

531
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,000
Well, it is.

532
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000
You know, there's, there's some.

533
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,000
She just went through that door.

534
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000
We could, do you want it?

535
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,000
Oh, oh.

536
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,000
She did say she was coming back, but.

537
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,000
I can't believe you asked that.

538
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:52,000
Hey, when you go to the bathroom, is it really hard to get this stuff all off in time?

539
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000
I can't believe you asked that.

540
00:28:54,000 --> 00:29:00,000
I try not to, I try not to be like some of the other younger guards and only go when it's an absolute emergency.

541
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:03,000
I try to give myself time and process that.

542
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:09,000
And, you know, take my 15 a little bit earlier so that I can have time to disrobe, use the facilities.

543
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,000
Oh, you got to take the whole thing off.

544
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:15,000
Well, I mean, at least portions there of, you know, it's more comfortable to sit down.

545
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,000
Is there a hinged flap that just.

546
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:22,000
Well, no, because if you get stuck up in battle, then it's a pretty clear soft spot.

547
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000
Oh, yeah.

548
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:27,000
Yeah, you don't want to take an arrow there.

549
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:31,000
The door opens and the Queen and Sandra walk back through.

550
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:32,000
Thank God.

551
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,000
Just in time.

552
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,000
Or is it just a little late?

553
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,000
Well.

554
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,000
The Queen walks back in.

555
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:41,000
She sees kind of the urgency in Terry's eyes.

556
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,000
He has to pee.

557
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,000
Because he has to pee.

558
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,000
Because this is 15, he had to deliver the letter to.

559
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Just a second, Terry.

560
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,000
So, Glim, Sully, what have you decided?

561
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,000
I feel like we're in the middle now.

562
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,000
I think that was it.

563
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,000
It was beautiful.

564
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,000
It was subtle.

565
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,000
I know you were looking for a jump in there.

566
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,000
I was waiting, but you know what?

567
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000
I'm OK with it being a standalone thing.

568
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:19,000
Yeah, it's just, yeah.

569
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Yeah.

570
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,000
It's subtle.

571
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:22,000
It's just quiet.

572
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,000
I said stop.

573
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,000
I'm Patreon and listen.

574
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,000
We need.

575
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:28,000
I'm doing it.

576
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:32,000
This was that you've exactly hit the nail on the head why I didn't want to jump in,

577
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,000
because it was like.

578
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,000
Because it was a wrap.

579
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,000
Is it ice ice baby?

580
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,000
Is it under pressure?

581
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:37,000
I'm not sure where she's going.

582
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,000
Could be either one.

583
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,000
We would have been OK with either, too.

584
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,000
So.

585
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,000
Totally.

586
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:46,000
But then I wouldn't have been able to rap if you had chosen under pressure.

587
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,000
I mean.

588
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:51,000
What is the David Bowie combination with Queen?

589
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:56,000
If not rap on rap in and of itself of its time.

590
00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:02,000
So anyway, we need a hundred patrons to come and join our wonderful family because

591
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:06,000
we have this thing in our minds where it'd be really cool to have a hundred

592
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,000
patrons when we reach our hundredth episode.

593
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,000
And you know what?

594
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:16,000
To help get us to that point and to help maybe give you further incentive.

595
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:21,000
On top of all the things that Patreon already does for the show, like there's

596
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:28,000
a lot of things that enable us to be able to create better content, more

597
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:34,000
stories, get better equipment, allow us to advertise and get in front of new

598
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:39,000
listeners, new community members, new yous.

599
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,000
I forgot where I was going with this, but we want to offer two months free

600
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,000
membership from now until the end of October.

601
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,000
New and upgrading members.

602
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:52,000
You can sign up for an annual membership and save yourself not one,

603
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000
but two months of membership.

604
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,000
I mean, that's a great deal.

605
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,000
It's such a good deal.

606
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,000
Such a good deal.

607
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Love saving all that money for those annual memberships because you just

608
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:04,000
keep getting the sweet, sweet bonus content all year long.

609
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:08,000
Well, I have to ask Russ, are you the type of person that you treat

610
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:12,000
yourself to like two free months and you pay the full price for the other

611
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,000
10 or do you pay a discounted price for all 12?

612
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,000
Oh, how does it work in my mind?

613
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,000
Yeah.

614
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,000
How do you, Russ, treat that?

615
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:21,000
I treat it as two free months.

616
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000
So I pay the full price.

617
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,000
Yeah, that's what I do too.

618
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,000
Because then those last two months I'm like, ah, I didn't pay for these.

619
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,000
I don't have to do anything for those.

620
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,000
I'm just getting them.

621
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,000
Freebies.

622
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,000
I mean, I totally understand the other way, but options.

623
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:35,000
Either one is totally logical and makes sense, but it feels better

624
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,000
having two free months.

625
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000
Knowing you get those freebies.

626
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:42,000
So when you go to Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast, uh, and you sign up

627
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:47,000
for an annual membership, if you're a new or upgrading member, you will

628
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,000
only pay for 10 months for a full year subscription.

629
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:57,000
If you're at our bonus audio tier, that's $5 a month plus times 10.

630
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,000
Um, you can do it.

631
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,000
It'll come to you.

632
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000
Think about it.

633
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,000
Just add the zero.

634
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
I know you can do this one.

635
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,000
He's going to do it.

636
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,000
It's 50.

637
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,000
I did it.

638
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,000
I did it.

639
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:16,000
You get a bonus episode every month from Tom that Tom runs.

640
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,000
Not specifically from Tom.

641
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,000
It's not just Tom.

642
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,000
I release it into the world.

643
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,000
He births that episode.

644
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:28,000
I hold it in my hands and then I throw it in the air and say, be free, fly.

645
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,000
And then it makes it to my desk.

646
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,000
Most of the time it comes crashing right back down.

647
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,000
It's true.

648
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:38,000
You get Dumbgeons Downtimes, which happened every Saturday after a, after a

649
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000
regular feed episode.

650
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000
We talk about the episode that happened that week.

651
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,000
What did we think about the shenanigans Russ made us do?

652
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,000
You'll find out there.

653
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,000
All the honest reviews from us.

654
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,000
Sometimes they're good.

655
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,000
And then occasionally they're like, what the hell are you doing?

656
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,000
God damn.

657
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Yeah.

658
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,000
Amy starts swearing and then Russ goes downtime.

659
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,000
This is the stuff.

660
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Uh, we released those plus game time.

661
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:05,000
We have that tier where we're fortunate enough to play some games with some of

662
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,000
our patrons.

663
00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,000
But then we record that and release that as another episode.

664
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:14,000
Um, and recently last month, August.

665
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000
Flamikins can's made an appearance.

666
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:21,000
So things sure did things are just wild over on game time.

667
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,000
And this month we're playing monster of the week.

668
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Carla and I are over there.

669
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,000
We are.

670
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,000
Yeah, we are.

671
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000
I mean, we are.

672
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,000
Yeah.

673
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,000
It's going to be great.

674
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,000
It's going to be great.

675
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,000
Uh, so we're mixing it up, trying different things over there too.

676
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,000
Um, but check it out.

677
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,000
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

678
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,000
We'd love to have you over there.

679
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:40,000
A hundred patrons by a hundred episodes, which we're on episode 97 right now.

680
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000
So that gives us a few weeks to do it.

681
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,000
Plus two months free when you sign up for an annual membership.

682
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000
But wait, there's more.

683
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,000
Oh wait.

684
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,000
Once we hit a hundred patrons, we're going to unlock that cage.

685
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:54,000
That's rattling in a flamey Kinzen grants.

686
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:58,000
This episode is going to come bursting forth into the universe.

687
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,000
Let me free.

688
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,000
But we need your help to do that.

689
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000
Otherwise they're just chained up for Evers.

690
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,000
Yep.

691
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,000
Oh bother.

692
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:07,000
Oh shit.

693
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:08,000
I even got this tagline wrong.

694
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,000
Oh boy.

695
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,000
I was like, yeah, that's right.

696
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:13,000
Sorry.

697
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,000
Grants.

698
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:15,000
This is too expensive.

699
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,000
Now we can't, we can't get it.

700
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,000
It's Francis.

701
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,000
That's right.

702
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,000
Uh, thanks everybody for listening.

703
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,000
Hopefully you enjoyed this little jibber jabber and we'll talk to you very soon.

704
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.

705
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:35,000
Uh, well, uh, to be perfectly honest, uh, your, your great grateful gratefulness.

706
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:45,000
Um, I don't know how much help we can be in after meeting you in this situation.

707
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,000
It seems you have everything.

708
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,000
You're doing a great job.

709
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
It seems like Terry agrees.

710
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:54,000
Oh, Terry had nothing but nice things to say.

711
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,000
That's how you know.

712
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:56,000
Definitely agree.

713
00:35:56,000 --> 00:36:02,000
So I think you guys can, you'll probably just figure it out.

714
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,000
Clearly you're a great ruler.

715
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:09,000
So we're probably just going to hit the old dusty trail.

716
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,000
Okay.

717
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,000
Well, I mean, you've traveled all this way.

718
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,000
Um, you know, stay the night.

719
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,000
We'll, we'll put you up for your troubles.

720
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Sure.

721
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,000
Finbar would have done the same.

722
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,000
She shakes her head.

723
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,000
She shakes her head.

724
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,000
We all shake our head.

725
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,000
I think at the same time.

726
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:30,000
Um, but yeah, Sandra, Sandra will take care of you.

727
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000
That that's just too kind.

728
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,000
It was, it was really nice meeting you.

729
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:38,000
It's a pleasure to meet you.

730
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:47,000
Um, and she directs her attention to Terry, uh, who takes a few steps forward and says, Queen, the nightgarm has struck again as you three are heading out.

731
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,000
I've bowed and I'm backing.

732
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,000
Yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

733
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,000
Somehow I'm like bowing and backing up.

734
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,000
As you're exiting, he says, it struck again.

735
00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:04,000
It's, it's taken out one of the, one of the farms on the, on the, on the perimeter, taking the family as well.

736
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000
Glam.

737
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,000
Oh, that's, that's terrible.

738
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:13,000
I'm extra slowly nodding, bowing and backing up just in case.

739
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,000
Yeah.

740
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,000
Just in case.

741
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:24,000
She sighs deeply says, well, we need to, we need to send someone out there and try and put an end to this.

742
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:28,000
It's taken out eight farms.

743
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,000
Excuse me.

744
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,000
Sorry.

745
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:33,000
Sorry.

746
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:34,000
Yes.

747
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,000
Yes.

748
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,000
Sully.

749
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,000
Hitting the old dusty trail.

750
00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:38,000
Here we go.

751
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,000
I just have a quick question.

752
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,000
Sure.

753
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,000
What's a nightglam?

754
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,000
A nightgarm.

755
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,000
Yes.

756
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,000
Nightgarm.

757
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:48,000
It's a, how would you describe it, Terry?

758
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:53,000
Well, it's a, it's a.

759
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:57,000
Thomas did.

760
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:08,000
When one personality can't think of a description, she just throws it to his other personality who's like, I got you bro.

761
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:12,000
Fuck you both.

762
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,000
Just building the world here.

763
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,000
I love this.

764
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,000
What do you think, Sandra?

765
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000
I don't know.

766
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,000
I don't know.

767
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,000
The three of you've got this.

768
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,000
Find out more how Russ can talk to himself.

769
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,000
Patreon.com.

770
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:32,000
Just all day now.

771
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,000
Excuse me.

772
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:41,000
Well, it's a more of a, I don't know if it's a lycanthrope, but it's a more of a wolf humanoid creature.

773
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,000
Oh, like a werewolf?

774
00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:53,000
In a sense, we don't believe that it converts back or is driven by the moon.

775
00:38:53,000 --> 00:39:06,000
It has what some reports say, like a jaw that hinges like a snake and can swallow its prey practically whole.

776
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000
Oh, well that's horrifying.

777
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,000
That sounds terrifying.

778
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,000
It is terrifying.

779
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:11,000
It is terrifying.

780
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:18,000
It has taken, like as the Queen said, several farms and families and doesn't appear to be stopping.

781
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:23,000
In fact, it's getting more and more bloodthirsty.

782
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,000
Well done, Terry.

783
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:25,000
Well done.

784
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:30,000
Good description.

785
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,000
Cold star for you.

786
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,000
Sandra, wouldn't you say that was the best description?

787
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:38,000
Listen, so it was very rude of us to just intrude on your conversation like that.

788
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,000
I'm so sorry.

789
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:49,000
However, we may not be able to properly help you, like, you know, unite the kingdoms or whatever.

790
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:55,000
But, I mean, sometimes we're good at hidden stuff.

791
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:59,000
Oh, are you monster hunters as well as diplomats?

792
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:03,000
Well, we're actually kind of world savers.

793
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:04,000
Glenn, tell them.

794
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,000
Well, you see, I've got a destiny.

795
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:10,000
They've asked me to not bring it up so often because it can be a bit much.

796
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,000
I've heard.

797
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,000
But anyway, I have a destiny to save the world, but they do too.

798
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:17,000
We're all going to save the world together.

799
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:22,000
So we are out learning how to save the world.

800
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:29,000
We thought maybe diplomacy was going to be part of it, but it seems like maybe not this time.

801
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,000
But fighting a monster?

802
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,000
Okay.

803
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:35,000
Saving some innocent people.

804
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:36,000
Definitely.

805
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,000
Now, that's world saving stuff.

806
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,000
We cut to the three of you on the farm.

807
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:46,000
The montage of getting ready, strapping knives from belts.

808
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Terry's showing you how all of his armor works much more intricately.

809
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,000
There was a flap.

810
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,000
I just didn't want to talk about it.

811
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:59,000
And then we cut to the three of you at the most recently attacked farm with Terry.

812
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:03,000
He escorted you there so that you knew how to make it there.

813
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:18,000
Says, yes, the Haraldson farm here was hit just last night and was reported when a merchant came to collect the wool and found this.

814
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,000
This is gruesome.

815
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,000
Avert your eyes.

816
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000
I already saw it.

817
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,000
Don't draw it again, okay?

818
00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:28,000
It's real weird when you draw scenes like this afterwards.

819
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,000
Oh, no, I'm going to try to forget I ever saw this.

820
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,000
Probably best.

821
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,000
Is this a blanket or something we can put on top of them?

822
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000
Is somebody going to come and...

823
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,000
Yeah, the coroner is on his way as well.

824
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,000
Okay, so...

825
00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,000
And the livestock facility.

826
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,000
The whole facility?

827
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:50,000
The whole facility.

828
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:51,000
You know, they work as a family.

829
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,000
You know, if one goes out, they all go out.

830
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000
Isn't that a faculty?

831
00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,000
That too.

832
00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:05,000
Is there a map that we could potentially look at all the farms that were hit and see if there's a pattern or something?

833
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,000
Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

834
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:11,000
Sully looks to his friends like, huh?

835
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:14,000
Look at this idea I had.

836
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,000
This is strategizing, you guys.

837
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:20,000
This is the idea.

838
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:28,000
We cut to back at the castle in the war room, so to speak, where they have maps of everything.

839
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:33,000
And the three of you and Terry are plotting out the scene.

840
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:34,000
There's yarn.

841
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,000
Yeah, there's...

842
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,000
Thumbtacks.

843
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,000
Red yarn and thumbtacks.

844
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:48,000
And you find that between the eight farms, there is a cluster of a small forest, if you will, between these eight farms.

845
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:53,000
And all of the red lines go either around or through this farm.

846
00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:59,000
Terry, has anyone checked these woods?

847
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:06,000
Because it seems like a good place if you were kind of a scary monster and you...

848
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,000
It seems like a good place to...

849
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:11,000
It is a central location between all these farms.

850
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:22,000
We checked the perimeters and found footprints that have gone off in several different directions from what we could presume was the creature.

851
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:29,000
But no, because as you can see here from the name, Dem's the Scary Woods.

852
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:34,000
Oh, I thought maybe it was pronounced like scurry or something.

853
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,000
I didn't know it was actually the word scary.

854
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:39,000
Yeah, no, it's the Scary Woods.

855
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,000
Well, into the woods.

856
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:51,000
We cut to the entrance of the Scary Woods.

857
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:58,000
Yeah, well, I went into the Scary Woods once when I was a kid and heard some strange noises and never been back in since.

858
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,000
What did the strange noises sound like?

859
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,000
I'm going to have to remember.

860
00:44:05,000 --> 00:44:10,000
Motha?

861
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000
Or murder?

862
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:13,000
What were you saying?

863
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,000
Motha?

864
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,000
Was it a word?

865
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,000
It wasn't a word.

866
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000
Oh, you were just making sounds.

867
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,000
It sounded like a cow.

868
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,000
Oh, all right.

869
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,000
Yeah.

870
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,000
Oh, okay.

871
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:34,000
Was it like a tss, tss, tss, anything like that?

872
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:38,000
You know, now that you mentioned it, there might have been, might have been.

873
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:43,000
And what about like a aaah, aaah, aaah?

874
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,000
Have you heard it too?

875
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:49,000
Was it perhaps a oooo?

876
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:51,000
No, I don't think there's ghosts in this woods.

877
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,000
Oh, okay.

878
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,000
Good to know.

879
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,000
Or anyone playing a fairer man.

880
00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:00,000
I mean, we ain't afraid of no ghosts, but just so we know what we're dealing with.

881
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:01,000
Yeah, well, it's good.

882
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,000
You got to know who to call when you hear a ghost.

883
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,000
Exactly.

884
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,000
That's right.

885
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,000
Are you coming in, or?

886
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,000
Are you gonna?

887
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:11,000
Yeah, no, yeah.

888
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,000
I mean, I'm your escort here.

889
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:17,000
I will escort you into the scary woods.

890
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,000
Do you need to hold my hand?

891
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:21,000
No.

892
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,000
I can see this.

893
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:25,000
Sorry that you have to like relive your childhood trauma here, Terry.

894
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,000
It's all right.

895
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,000
It's all right.

896
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,000
If you need to, though.

897
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:32,000
My hand's just dangling here, and you gotta, I mean, you gotta scoop, you gotta

898
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,000
stoop, but.

899
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,000
Yeah.

900
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,000
Oh, stooping in plate mail is totally easy.

901
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,000
And what are the woods like, Russ?

902
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:41,000
What kind of woods are we looking at?

903
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:42,000
What kind of woods?

904
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,000
Is it ferny?

905
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,000
Is it a temperate rain forest?

906
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000
What are we dealing with?

907
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,000
Is it lots of like.

908
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,000
Weeping willows everywhere.

909
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:52,000
Thin trees, but grown closely together.

910
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,000
Like a birch.

911
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,000
Like a bunch of birch.

912
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,000
With no leaves, so it's kind of creepy and weird.

913
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,000
Oh, all right.

914
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,000
Yeah, it's kind of a mix of that.

915
00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000
So there's like birch trees.

916
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,000
And a temperate rain forest.

917
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:09,000
What an amazing ecosystem here.

918
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:14,000
I'm surprised they need to trade with anyone with all these different climates going on.

919
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:18,000
No, it's a mix of birch trees and pine trees.

920
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:23,000
There is a path that Terry has brought you to that does go in.

921
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:27,000
But as he has said, people generally try to avoid it.

922
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:32,000
I can't wait for like the one arborist who listens to our podcast to be like, this isn't a thing.

923
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,000
Birch trees and pine trees never grow together.

924
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,000
They need different soil acidities.

925
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:43,000
They had me for 200 episodes and lost me of birch trees and pine trees.

926
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:46,000
In a temperate rain forest.

927
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,000
So sorry, one arborist person.

928
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,000
Just going to put a blanket apology out there to all the arborists.

929
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,000
Thank you for listening.

930
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:54,000
It's a fantasy world.

931
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,000
Soil is whatever.

932
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:57,000
Soil is whatever.

933
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:58,000
Soil is whatever.

934
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000
That's the world building we do.

935
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,000
That's the title.

936
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,000
It's a fantasy world.

937
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,000
The rule of the podcast.

938
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,000
Soil is whatever.

939
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,000
Soil is whatever.

940
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:07,000
What about the ground cover?

941
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,000
What are we dealing with?

942
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,000
Is it seems crunchy?

943
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:11,000
Dry.

944
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,000
Would you say this is difficult terrain or?

945
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,000
Not from what you can see.

946
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,000
Okay.

947
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,000
If you go off the path, it is a little thicker.

948
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:24,000
There are bushes and shrubs and fallen branches and that sort of thing.

949
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:29,000
Just the natural undergrowth you would see in a temperate rain forest.

950
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:30,000
Pine birch forest.

951
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,000
Pine birch trees.

952
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,000
So lots of pine needles.

953
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:35,000
Yeah.

954
00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:40,000
But yeah, not exceptionally difficult terrain.

955
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:47,000
It was nice of the nightgarm to have a trail even though this is a little used wood.

956
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:53,000
So do you think that's a trap or do you think if we follow this,

957
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,000
it's going to just lead to their home?

958
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,000
Maybe it's a lure, right?

959
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:04,000
Like, you know, oh, come on in.

960
00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:08,000
Look at how undifficult this terrain is on this path.

961
00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:09,000
Let's walk it.

962
00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,000
Let's walk it.

963
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:19,000
The four of you, tarry in tow, head forth into the scary woods.

964
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:27,000
You carry on for 10 or 15 minutes and you hear a rustling up ahead.

965
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,000
It's just off the path.

966
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,000
Shhh.

967
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:33,000
Did you guys hear that?

968
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,000
I heard it.

969
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:36,000
I didn't hear it.

970
00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000
What did it sound like?

971
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,000
Terry, was that one of the sounds?

972
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,000
No, it's a new sound.

973
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:54,000
If I didn't already have my weapon drawn, I'm going to draw the Vorpal Sword just so I'm ready.

974
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,000
Yeah.

975
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:58,000
I grab my staff of adder.

976
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:02,000
Moot doesn't do much because he doesn't really have to prepare too much.

977
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,000
Trips his feather a little tighter.

978
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:05,000
A little bit, yeah.

979
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,000
Terry's carrying, what do we want Terry to be carrying?

980
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,000
Probably mace.

981
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,000
Sure.

982
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,000
Longsword.

983
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,000
Which is it, mace?

984
00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,000
Or staff.

985
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,000
He's carrying all three.

986
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:16,000
Shields.

987
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:17,000
He's got a mace, a longsword.

988
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,000
He's very strong.

989
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:26,000
No, his weapon is like the handle is that of, that looks like it was forged from a quarter staff.

990
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:31,000
With a mace, which is the bally end, like the pokeball one, right?

991
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,000
Yeah.

992
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,000
You know, the pokeball one.

993
00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:42,000
With like the head of a mace and a blade that wraps around it and extends further out.

994
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:45,000
Oh, Terry, is that a custom weapon?

995
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,000
I haven't really ever seen anything like that.

996
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,000
Terry, it's so badass.

997
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,000
Yeah.

998
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:59,000
Queen Caliqrist encourages individuality in our presentation and also in our weaponry.

999
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:00,000
Shit, son.

1000
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,000
Yeah.

1001
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,000
I mean, I know we're dealing with-

1002
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:03,000
What's her name?

1003
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:07,000
I mean, I know I'm dealing with a possible MIDB, monster into bushes.

1004
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:15,000
But yeah, no, the quarter staff was my father's and he preferred the mace as a weapon and

1005
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,000
I preferred the longsword.

1006
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:19,000
So just incorporated them together.

1007
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:20,000
Yeah.

1008
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:21,000
To the monster.

1009
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:22,000
Wait, hold on.

1010
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:23,000
What's its name?

1011
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:24,000
What's your name?

1012
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,000
Oh, its name is-

1013
00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:30,000
He has his mouth like he's going to make an F sound, but all he can think about

1014
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:35,000
is fart.

1015
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:38,000
Valourian.

1016
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:44,000
That was so worth the wait.

1017
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:50,000
Oh my god.

1018
00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:56,000
So Tom's got nothing.

1019
00:50:56,000 --> 00:51:01,000
I just picture now the pommel is covered in this very soft fabric.

1020
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,000
Feels so nice.

1021
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:05,000
I remember when George from Seinfeld's wearing the Valour tracksuit.

1022
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,000
Like that's what I'm picturing now for Terry.

1023
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:08,000
Yep.

1024
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:09,000
Yep.

1025
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:10,000
Yeah.

1026
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,000
It's for comfort.

1027
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,000
It's not great when you start to sweat in the heat of battle.

1028
00:51:13,000 --> 00:51:15,000
It's all about that, you know, expressing yourself.

1029
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:16,000
Exactly.

1030
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000
Individuality on the battlefield is very important.

1031
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,000
Okay.

1032
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,000
Guys.

1033
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,000
Fuck.

1034
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,000
Sorry, we got to-

1035
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,000
I have something I want to say.

1036
00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:26,000
Okay.

1037
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,000
That's right.

1038
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:33,000
Sully creeps over to the bushes like, okay, I'm going to take my staff and I'm going

1039
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:40,000
to rustle it around in these bushes and then that IMDB is going to come out.

1040
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:45,000
And you guys get him.

1041
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,000
Ready?

1042
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,000
It's the M-I-D-B.

1043
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,000
IMDB is-

1044
00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:49,000
Ready.

1045
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:50,000
No, it's okay.

1046
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:51,000
We're ready.

1047
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:52,000
Yep.

1048
00:51:52,000 --> 00:52:13,000
I stick my staff of adder in there and mix it about.

1049
00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:14,000
And turn yourself into a chicken?

1050
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,000
That's a turkey noise.

1051
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Oh, I've heard that one before.

1052
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:26,000
Yeah, you stir it up and you see out of the corner of your eye as you're doing that,

1053
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:31,000
running into another bush, just like almost like a shadow of a figure.

1054
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:35,000
It looks small and it's on four legs.

1055
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,000
And it's on fire.

1056
00:52:37,000 --> 00:52:38,000
And it's on fire.

1057
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,000
Oh, Jesus.

1058
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:43,000
And it's on four legs and it just kind of zips and goes into like the bush adjacent.

1059
00:52:43,000 --> 00:52:44,000
Did anyone-

1060
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,000
I didn't really get a good look at it.

1061
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,000
But that can't be the nightgarm.

1062
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000
It seemed real small.

1063
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:51,000
Right, Terry?

1064
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:52,000
Yeah, no.

1065
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:55,000
I mean, the nightgarm is large.

1066
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,000
It's 10 or 12 feet tall.

1067
00:52:57,000 --> 00:53:01,000
He walks over to the bush and just kind of like peeks through.

1068
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:06,000
It's just a dog.

1069
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:07,000
Like a wolf?

1070
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,000
Like a dog?

1071
00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:09,000
Yeah, yeah.

1072
00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:10,000
Oh.

1073
00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:20,000
You go look and there's this little gray hound-like dog, probably 40 pounds tops,

1074
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:26,000
just kind of looking up at you with big wide saucer eyes.

1075
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:27,000
Oh.

1076
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:29,000
Hey, little buddy.

1077
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,000
Kind of frozen still.

1078
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:33,000
Why, I feel so bad shaking my staff at him now.

1079
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,000
Did Sully scare you?

1080
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:38,000
Kind of a little whimper.

1081
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:42,000
Oh, so sorry.

1082
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:48,000
I have a little bit of like, I don't know, dried pemmican in my pocket that I-

1083
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,000
Oh, hey, little buddy.

1084
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:52,000
You want to-

1085
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,000
Roll animal handling.

1086
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:57,000
I did not expect animal handling to be our first roll of the night.

1087
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,000
No.

1088
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,000
Oh, it was a nat 20.

1089
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,000
Oh, this dog is now your best friend.

1090
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:06,000
The dog can sniff it as you pull it out of your bag.

1091
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:11,000
And as you get closer and kind of part the shrub a little bit more, you can see that it's-

1092
00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,000
you can see its ribs.

1093
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:22,000
It shies away as you walk up to it first, but then smells the food and senses your calm

1094
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,000
and moves in and takes the food from you.

1095
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:25,000
Oh, good.

1096
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,000
There you go, buddy.

1097
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000
Oh, you're so hungry.

1098
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:31,000
I know this isn't what we're here for, but I-

1099
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,000
Maybe-

1100
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:38,000
It's probably not good, like, smart, you know, monster hunting move and something,

1101
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:41,000
but maybe the dog can just come with us.

1102
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:43,000
I mean, we can't just leave it here.

1103
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:44,000
Look how hungry it is.

1104
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,000
Oh, he's so hungry.

1105
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:49,000
Glim, you feel like a paw at your bag.

1106
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:51,000
Oh.

1107
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:52,000
Oh, buddy.

1108
00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,000
You can come with us.

1109
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,000
We're just monster hunting.

1110
00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:57,000
You can come.

1111
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:59,000
Well, I mean, he already lives in this forest.

1112
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:00,000
It's true.

1113
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,000
He's probably seen it.

1114
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:04,000
Hey, buddy, you seen the big scary thing?

1115
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,000
It sounds like Terry.

1116
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:06,000
Tell him what it sounds like.

1117
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,000
Yeah, Terry, hit him with it.

1118
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,000
Okay.

1119
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:11,000
Oh, I don't want to scare the dog because it's kind of-

1120
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,000
it's ferocious, but it's kind of like a-

1121
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:17,000
from what I might have heard because I haven't actually seen it yet,

1122
00:55:17,000 --> 00:55:21,000
it's like a guttural sound, kind of like at the back of your throat.

1123
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:22,000
Like,

1124
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:27,000
Then as it swallows its victims, it's like,

1125
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:36,000
the dog whimpers and runs back to the bush.

1126
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:39,000
Oh, Terry, that was- I mean, much better.

1127
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,000
Sorry, yeah.

1128
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:41,000
Accurate.

1129
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,000
No, it was a good job.

1130
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:43,000
It was a good job.

1131
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:44,000
Thank you.

1132
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:45,000
Yeah, I hope that's exactly what it sounds like

1133
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:50,000
because after I retire, I can go into like a voice acting business.

1134
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,000
You could get some marionettes.

1135
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,000
Yeah.

1136
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:54,000
Back things out.

1137
00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:55,000
Do like monster stories.

1138
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,000
You can act out our great victory in the woods today.

1139
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,000
We just have to first-

1140
00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:59,000
Oh, that's a great idea.

1141
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,000
We just have to do the victory first.

1142
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:04,000
Get into the woods, too, because I can still see the outside.

1143
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:06,000
Like, we've taken maybe 10 steps.

1144
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:09,000
Yeah, no, we haven't traveled very far.

1145
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:15,000
I mean, I felt like it was like 10 minutes, I think is what was said.

1146
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:18,000
Felt like about 10 to 15 minutes.

1147
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:19,000
Yeah, no, 10 steps.

1148
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:20,000
Slow steps.

1149
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:23,000
You know, you don't want to rush into these things, right?

1150
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,000
One step every minute.

1151
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:26,000
That's good monster hunters,

1152
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,000
because then you can really just get the lay of the land

1153
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:29,000
as you're walking.

1154
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,000
Do you want to put that dog in your bag or something?

1155
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:33,000
How do you carry a dog?

1156
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:34,000
I don't have a very big bag.

1157
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,000
Not you, Glim.

1158
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:36,000
Oh.

1159
00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:39,000
I think, I mean, not right before we fight the monster.

1160
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:41,000
Maybe you can get him to stay here.

1161
00:56:41,000 --> 00:56:45,000
But I think we should find the dog, yeah, when we-

1162
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,000
we'll try again after.

1163
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:49,000
I mean, he's kind of scooted off now.

1164
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,000
But we'll make sure we get the dog.

1165
00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,000
And Terry, maybe you could take the dog back with you.

1166
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:55,000
Oh.

1167
00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:57,000
Or he can come on adventures with us.

1168
00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:58,000
Oh, yeah, sure.

1169
00:56:58,000 --> 00:56:59,000
Yeah, either way.

1170
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,000
I don't know.

1171
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:01,000
What do you guys think?

1172
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:02,000
Oh.

1173
00:57:02,000 --> 00:57:03,000
There was nothing in the destiny.

1174
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:06,000
Nothing in the destiny said there wasn't a dog.

1175
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:07,000
Oh.

1176
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:08,000
That's true.

1177
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,000
Good call, yeah.

1178
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:11,000
All right.

1179
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:13,000
Well, let's brainstorm some names as we're walking along here.

1180
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:14,000
Okay.

1181
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,000
Um, Scrappy.

1182
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:18,000
Fido.

1183
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,000
Ribs McGee.

1184
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,000
We'll cut ahead another 15 minutes.

1185
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,000
Marky Mark?

1186
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:27,000
No, Barky Bark.

1187
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:28,000
I think that's the winner.

1188
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,000
Marky Bark is pretty good.

1189
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:34,000
Marky Bark, any of those combinations of Barkies Markies.

1190
00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,000
Charles Barkley.

1191
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,000
Also good.

1192
00:57:38,000 --> 00:57:39,000
Up ahead.

1193
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:42,000
It's gotten thicker.

1194
00:57:42,000 --> 00:57:46,000
The canopy has gotten thicker as you've been walking.

1195
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:55,000
And you've been having to clear cobwebs out of your path as you've been walking.

1196
00:57:55,000 --> 00:58:01,000
And you come to a fork in the road.

1197
00:58:01,000 --> 00:58:08,000
And you hear, as you're standing there, kind of waiting for Terry to tell you which way to go,

1198
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:17,000
grumbling, very guttural.

1199
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:20,000
I look at Terry to see if it's him.

1200
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:23,000
Wasn't me.

1201
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:27,000
Shaggy, that's what you should name the dog.

1202
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:37,000
And then you hear a thundering crunch of a footstep, followed by another one.

1203
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:44,000
You hear this snort coming from the trees up ahead.

1204
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:57,000
And in the dark of these trees, you see two glinting red eyes that tower about 12 feet above the ground.

1205
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:05,000
As the footsteps begin to increase pace, trees get knocked over and pushed apart

1206
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:15,000
as this hulking bipedal wolf creature explodes out onto the path before you

1207
00:59:15,000 --> 00:59:24,000
and lets out this bellowing roar.

1208
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:27,000
I'm going to have to remember that one.

1209
00:59:54,000 --> 01:00:12,000
Dumbgeons and Dragons Season 2 Episode 95 is starring Amy More as Sully, Carla Max dead as Glim,

1210
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,000
Tom Laird as Moot, and Russ More as your dungeon master.

1211
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,000
Editing, production, and sound design is by Russ More.

1212
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:21,000
This episode featured music from Kavin MacLeod and Epidemic Sound,

1213
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:25,000
and sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.

1214
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:36,000
A huge thank you to our supporting producers.

1215
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,000
Support Dumbgeons and Dragons and our many other productions

1216
01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:42,000
and get access to an exclusive podcast and bonus episodes,

1217
01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:46,000
all while helping us unlock the special Grants' Flameykins episode,

1218
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:53,000
Escaping the Abyss, when we reach 100 patrons at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.

1219
01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:56,000
You can also follow us at facebook.com slash dumbdragoncast

1220
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,000
and on Instagram and Twitter at dumbdragoncast.

1221
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:03,000
Thank you for listening. Have a great week. We'll talk again soon.

1222
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:18,000
I didn't write down Tom.

1223
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,000
I'm trying to guess.

1224
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:22,000
Bursal Ball.

1225
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,000
Samsonite.

1226
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,000
Lonen. Lonen Borwin.

1227
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,000
Ah, there was a B.

1228
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:30,000
They're all Borwins.

1229
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:32,000
Magistration.

1230
01:01:32,000 --> 01:01:34,000
Just glad they were masturbation.

1231
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,000
It was so close.

1232
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,000
It was right there.

1233
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:44,000
Well, the sword was a contributing factor in driving Finbar myself and

1234
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,000
should have grabbed the other sibling's name.

1235
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,000
God damn it, son of a bitch.

1236
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:50,000
Fuckface, because she hates them the most.

1237
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:52,000
Breton.

1238
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,000
Oh, he's a cracker.

1239
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:00,000
Almost said a G name.

1240
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,000
Of course he did.

1241
01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:04,000
Jim.

1242
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,000
Terry.

1243
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:13,000
Glim, Sully, what have you decided?

1244
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:16,000
That's how words work.

1245
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:19,000
What decided have you?

1246
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:23,000
That's what I was going for, but then it didn't feel right in my mouth.

1247
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:25,000
So I was like, no, abort.

1248
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:27,000
All these cut scenes were happening here.

1249
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:28,000
I like it.

1250
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,000
Fuck travel.

1251
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:30,000
Let's just do it.

1252
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,000
Let's travel.

1253
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,000
I want to roll some dice.

1254
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:35,000
Every time we have travel, we run into weird characters that take you

1255
01:02:35,000 --> 01:02:37,000
to some Jason Halfman Zuccas' party.

1256
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,000
And then we keep learning about Terry.

1257
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:41,000
My dog's like, what the fuck?

1258
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,000
Dogs are you feeding?

1259
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:45,000
You talking to another dog?

1260
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,000
He's looking at me like, I am actually.

1261
01:02:47,000 --> 01:02:49,000
Thank you for asking.

1262
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,000
Roll animal handing over here, please.

1263
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:52,000
Yeah.

1264
01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:54,000
Animal handle your way into some food, my bowl.

1265
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:55,000
Thanks.

1266
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,000
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.